Baiser de la Mort
by LivingDeadGirl96
Summary: My name's Tama. I live in the Hidden Leaf Village with my father, sister, and cat. My mother passed away due to complications from giving birth to my sister, but was a member of the Anbu Black Ops. My father is as well. I'm a chuunin, and my sister is still in the Academy. You may think I'm just like you, but I'm not. But to learn my story, you'll have to continue reading...
1. It's Time To Begin!

The whole world felt unrealistically blissful. I shifted under the covers, enjoying the luxury of sleeping in past the crack of dawn. My cat Neko purred in agreement as she lay curled up next to me.

This was the first time I'd had anytime off in over a month. I'd been so busy running missions with my team that I'd forgotten what it was like to actually sleep in a bed.

Lazily I sighed and sank further into my blissful moment. I was going to do nothing but sleep until I got hungry enough to leave the comfort of my bed. Even Neko seemed to agree with this plan.

But my perfect world was shattered by the sound of my door being swung open with enough force to tear it off its hinges.

"Tama! Come on, wake up!" My little sister chirped annoyingly.

I opened my eyes and looked at her. "Why should I?"

"Come on, it's almost noon…and I'm hungry!" She complained.

Finally I sat up and realized I too was hungry. "Alright, alright, how about some ramen? Sound good?"

She smiled happily and clapped her hands together. "Yay!"

Once I got the energetic 12 year old out of my room, I found some comfortable sweats and a shirt that was about 3 sizes too large. I didn't plan on doing anything but getting us some food since dad was out on a mission and wouldn't be back for another week or more.

I brushed the tangles out of my hair and grabbed some money from my wallet before walking downstairs.

"I'll be back in a bit. Don't get into too much trouble." I teased.

Seiko just rolled her eyes and laughed. "Oh, and Konahamaru, Udon, and Moegi are coming over later. Is that alright?"

"Sure, kido." I smiled before leaving our house.

* * *

As I strolled to the ramen shop, I'd realized I'd made a mistake. I was getting ramen…around lunchtime…on a Saturday…the place was packed! It'd be at least half an hour before I even got close to getting our food.

I waded through the sea of people attempting to find the line to order. Of course this meant…coming into contact with human bodies…ew.

"Omph!" Someone grunted as they bumped into me…or did I bump into them?

"So—sorry" the person huffed out quickly, seeming embarrassed.

I looked at the person and suddenly smiled. "Toku!"

She smiled back as we both greeted each other.

Toku Hyuga was one of my good friends when we were in the ninja academy, and when we became genin, we were teammates, which only made us even better friends. Now that we were chunin, we were practically sisters.

She eyed the way I was dressed and chuckled. "I take it you've just gotten up?"

I nodded and laughed. "I wouldn't even be up right now if it weren't for Seiko waking me."

I then noticed her apparel. She was dressed in a black sports bra, mesh overshirt, and shorts. Her hair was tied back and a sheen of sweat gleamed on her forehead.

"Early morning training session?" I speculated.

She took a swig from her bottle of water. "Yeah. Father's been working with me a lot."

I gave her a crooked smile. She was so lucky to have a father who supported her and encouraged he, even if he wasn't her birth father. All mine did was yell at me whenever I went on missions or even when I went out for training. He hated the idea of either me and Sekio becoming ninja. He wanted me to live a civilian life, marrying the son of some guy who worked construction here in the village, but that life wasn't for me.

"Anyways, wanna come over to my place? Maybe we can spar some?" I suggested hastily.

"Sure! But, won't your dad be upset?" She asked.

"Nah, he's away on a mission. Probably won't be back till later next week" I informed her.

"Alright, but I'm warning ya, you're gonna lose! I've been working on some killer new jutsu!" Toku grinned confidently.

I chuckled. "We'll see about that."

* * *

When Toku and I arrived back at my house, I noticed that Seiko, Konahamaru, Udon, and Moegi were all shouting and jumping around, as if they had just witnessed something exciting.

"What's all the fuss about?" I questioned the three Academy students.

"Oh hi Tokku!" my sister greeted happily.

"Iruka-Sensei came by to tell us that we all passed our exams!" Moegi babbled.

"How awesome are we? We're official ninja of the Leaf now!" Konahamaru shouted.

"Not till you get those headbands you're not." I teased.

"Tama, you're so mean." Seiko pouted.

"Did Iruka say when graduation is?" Toku took the liberty of asking.

"He said it was next week." Udon answered promptly.

"You guys are gonna be there right?" Moegi and Seiko asked expectantly.

"Of course. We wouldn't miss it." I assured the eager kid.


	2. Let's Go!

Once the excitement died down and we had eaten our fill of ramen, I changed from my shirt to a tank top and Toku and I went outside to spar.

"The usual? First person to give up has to buy the other ramen for a month?" Toku asked, stretching her muscles.

I smiled and stretched as well. "You know it!"

After stretching, we took up our positions, ready to spar.

"And…GO!" screamed our four spectators.

* * *

In a flash I was off, expending chakra to my feet to speedily reach Toku. I charged her with a kunai but thanks to her Byakugan, she was able to dodge me.

I countered with a smoke bomb, followed by my earth style jutsu. I sank into the ground and manipulated the dirt around me till I was sure I was beneath her. I counted backwards from 3 and sent several kunai flying at her.

When I resurfaced, she was nowhere to be seen. Cautiously, l scanned the area, searching for her.

That's when I felt her presence.

Taking a breath, I sent a burst of chakra to my feet and legs and jumped just high enough to back flip over her, my hands using her head as a spring board.

When I landed on my feet, I attempted to again get her with my kunai, but she caught my wrists. I took the opportunity to drop and slide to throw her off balance. It was almost like we were dancing.

As I slid, I used my chakra to strengthen my arms. Rising up, I was able to fling Toku across the yard.

She regained control of herself and took the fall well. I readied my hand signs and blasted her with my fireball jutsu.

As I watched her body burn, it reverted back to being a rock.

The smoke then cleared and I searched for my opponent.

A kunai wizzed through the air, nearly hitting my ear. I spun around and came face to face with Toku. I watched her stance. She was going into her gentle fist position.

I smirked and met her stance. I had some degree of being able to use gentle fist, but not as well as Hyuga clan members.

Hands, feet, and chakra all collided fiercely. I was able to keep up with her movements, but it started to take a toll on my body. My fingers were aching and I was pretty sure I fractured my wrist. Close combat had never been one of my strong suits.

Toku could sense that my body wasn't able to keep up with gentle fist anymore. She continued attacking till she hit my wrist. Yep, it was for sure broken now.

"Dammit!" I yelled in pain, falling onto my butt.

Toku stood over me and smirked. "Give up?"

I sighed. "Got no choice right?"

She laughed and extended her hand to help me up.

I took it and rose to my feet. We both smiled and started brushing the dirt and sweat off our bodies.

Just then we heard slow clapping.

"Well done you two. You both fought adamantly, with the power of your youth!"

Both Toku and I rolled our eyes and Gui-Sensei's statement.

* * *

"Gui-Sensei! Guess what?" Konohamaru asked.

"We graduated from the academy!" Sekio answered proudly.

Gui-Sensei smiled proudly at the four students. "I actually already knew this. In fact, I was sent here under the Hokage's orders. She wants all graduating students to go through the rehearsal graduation ceremony, and I'm instructed to take you to the arena immediately."

"Oh, Toku, Tama," The jounin said, looking at us. "I ran into Tsume. She wanted to see you; said something about wanting help at the kennel. If I were you I wouldn't keep her waiting."

Toku and I looked at each other with apprehension on our faces. Tsume Inuzuka was the only jounin who had taken on Toku and I when we graduated from the accademy, and she was a force to be reckoned with.

* * *

You see, usually the graduating class is split up into groups of three; usually two guys and one girl. However, Toku and I earned the privilege of being the odd men out. There weren't any other guys to pair us up with to make our respective squads.

Several of the kids muttered that it was bad luck that we were the only ones without partners. Some of the jounin even seemed to think it was bad luck.

"You, kid with the kekkei genkai; you graduated, correct?" A fierce looking woman asked Toku.

Toku nodded hastily, blushing.

"And what about you short stuff?" The woman asked me.

"Yes ma'am." I answered.

"So the only hold up is the fact you don't have partners?" She continued.

Toku and I both nodded.

The woman smirked then looked at the other jounin and juunin. "I'll be their team leader, and they won't need partners. They'll do fine working together."

"Are you sure, Tsume? They'll be at a disadvantage to the rest of the teams and out in the field." one jounin protested.

Tsume scoffed. "Please. With me training them, they'll be promoted to jounin before any of the other teams make chuunin."

Everyone remained silent. She was so confident in us, even though she'd never met us before.


	3. Who's Ready To Party?

I hugged Seiko goodbye as she left with her friends and Gui-Sensei.

"Shall we see what Tsume-Sensei wants?" I asked.

Toku nodded and we took off, heading for the kennel that our captain ran.

As we neared the kennel, we heard the familiar sounds of the ninja hounds that Tsume Inuzaka bred and worked with.

"Tsume-Sensei!" I yelled, waving.

She strolled outside and waited for us on the steps. "Bout time you two showed up."

We were then greeted by several of the dogs she was housing. I couldn't help but smile. I loved animals.

"Sorry we were late." Toku apologized quickly.

Tsume gave us a rare smile. "No need for apologies. I take it you two were sparring?"

She chuckled at our shocked faces. "Tama I can tell you broke your wrist and used medical ninjutsu to fix it, right?"

I blushed then nodded.

"And you Toku, it looks like you got sliced up pretty good."

This time my friend blushed.

"I'm glad to see you're both still training." Our Sensei approved. "Now enough chit chat. I have a job for you two."

Toku and I looked at each other before following Tsume inside.

* * *

"I hate cleaning these freaking cages!" I grumbled angrily.

I was filthy, I stunk, and my back hurt.

Toku sighed as she sat down on one of the cages we had just cleaned. It was easy to tell she felt the same way.

I flopped down on the ground and stared up at the sky. The sun was just beginning to set. I could see a few stars glimmering like fractured pieces of glass.

I closed my eyes in peace and felt myself falling asleep.

"Ick! Where the hell's that smell coming from?!" Someone exclaimed loudly, succeeding in waking me.

I sat up and saw a group of people come in through the front gate.

"You tell me dog boy." I teased Kiba.

"Your mother asked us to clean the cages for her." Toku added.

I then looked at Hinata. "You feeling alright? You look like you saw a ghost."

She gave me a faint smile and blushed bright red.

"Nah, she's just like this because she saw Naruto." Kiba smirked, throwing a arm around his teammate.

Toku and I balked. "NARUTO'S BACK?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?"

"Yes he is. He got into the village sometime this week." Shino offered.

"And he hasn't even come by to see us? That prick!" I blurted out.

"Calm down, Tama. I'm sure he's just been busy." Hinata covered for the guy she liked.

"You're right. He probably is." I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck. "But still, I wanna see that goofball!"

"What if we, what if we threw him a party?" Hinata wondered allowed, not meeting any of our eyes.

"Like a welcome home party?" Toku asked?

"Yes, exactly!" Hinata smiled.

"That sounds awesome!" I exclaimed. I

"Alright, count me in!" Kiba grinned.

Shino even liked the idea.

We all decided that at sundown we would meet at Ichiraku's ramen shop. Hinata would help Ichiraku with their preparations while Kiba and Shino sent word to the rest of Naruto's friends about this party. Toku would help Sakura keep Naruto distracted until we were ready for him. My job, was to bake a cake that would feed...oh probably half the village. Was that even possible?!

I guess we'll find out.

* * *

Once I returned to my house, I gathered all the ingredients and went to work making the cake.

After placing the batter in the oven, I went upstairs to get ready. I showered, brushed my hair out, and found a cute purple summer dress my aunt had gotten me a few months ago. I smirked when I realized it hadn't even been worn.

As I slipped it on, I noticed it was almost two sizes too large on me. Had I really lost that much weight since...?

I sighed to foget my train of thought and tied a sash around the waist to keep the dress on my body.

Next, I put on some rarely used make up. Honestly, I couldn't see how Sakura and Ino could perform their ninja duties while wearing this goop.

I blacked out my eyes with black eye shadow and lined them heavily with eye liner. It was go big or go home right? Besides, black was one of my favorite colors.

The clock on my desk beeped frantically, signalling that the cake should be done. I smudged on some lipstick and ran downstairs to grab the dessert before it burnt.

I smiled as the aroma of warm cake hit my face. Naruto was sure to love it!

* * *

I arrived at the party just before sundown. As I made my way through the crowd of people, I noticed several gawking at me, which weirded me out. Was there something wrong with what I was wearing, or my make up?

I felt myself blush furriously at their stares.

I chewed on my lip and glanced at the ground as I searched for any of my friends. I felt too awkward by myself.

Thank goodness, I ran into Hinata at that exact moment!

"Tama! You're here!" She smiled, but then...gawked at me?!

"W-wow Tama, you look really pretty!" She stuttered.

I blushed and looked at the stupid dress I was wearing. "Th-thanks. You look great too!"

This time she blushed, which was adorable.

Just then, several of our friends joined us.

"Everyone, Naruto's coming this way!" Someone yelled.

I frowned as I wasn't able to see the ninja's entrance. I was too short to see over the rest of the crowd...

"WELCOME BACK NARUTO!" The welcome commitie screamed when Naruto showed up.

I smiled, even though I couldn't see him. The village's number one knuckleheaded ninja was home!


	4. So Tired Yet So Alive

The party went on for hours. Sai was showing off his artistic skills, while Lee was sparing with any willing opponent.

I then heard loads of laughter coming from a large gathering of people, mostly younger kids.

Curriosity got the better of me so I stalked over to the group.

I then saw what the kids were laughing and smiling about. Kiba was letting the kids take turns riding Akumaru's back.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the large ninja hound and his human companion. I believed they were having more fun than the kids were.

"You wanna ride, Tama?" Kiba asked over the noise.

"N-no I'm good. 'Sides, I'd break his back." I told him.

"Don't be silly, Tama. You weigh what, half of what these kids weight? Come on, it'd be like riding a horse!" He persisted.

Suddenly teh kids who were wanting to ride, turned to me goading me to ride Akumaru.

A few of them grabbed my hands and tugged me towards Kiba.

"A-alright, fine. I'll do it." I finally consented, rolling my eyes.

The kids let my wrists go and cheered gleefully. Akumaru barked happily as he knelt down to make it easier for me to climb his back. Still though, he was a bit too tall for my short frame to climb on.

Kiba chuckled at this.

"You laughing at me dog boy?" I questioned, raising an eye brow.

He smirked and placed his hands on his hips. "Maybe I am."

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

Then before I knew it, I was being hoisted up onto Akumaru's back.

I yelped in surprise as I realized Kiba was the one placing me there.

I blushed furiously at the fact he had his arms around my waist.

Once I was on the canine's back, Kiba spoke to him. Akumaru barked then stood up and began walking along side Kiba.

I couldn't help but smile. I now caught a glimpse of why Kiba smiled whenever he rode his dog.

* * *

After riding Akumaru around the party, Kiba helped me off.

"That was a lot of fun. thanks Akumaru." I told the dog, petting him.

"Hay, I"m the one who wanted you to ride him! Don't I get a thank you?" Kiba pouted playfully.

I laughed at his jealously, then realized the time. "Shit!"

Kiba looked at me curiously. "What's wrong, Tama?"

I sighed. "It's late, and my sister's at home by herself. I should be getting home."

He frowned but acknowledged I had a responsibility to my sister. "Be careful okay? Don't need ya getting kidnapped."

I laughed at his attempt at being protective.

He then grabbed me in a hug. Again, he succeeded in surprising me.

Slowly I wrapped my arms around him, enjoying how warm he felt.

"Ahem." someone coughed, interrupting the weird moment Kiba and I were having.

"Oh, Naruto!" I exclaimed, finally seeing the ninja since his return to the village.

He chuckled and gestured to the cake he was eating. "Tama, did you make this?"

I nodded.

"I knew it!" He cheered. "No one can bake as good as you!"

I smiled at his praise.

"I'm glad you like it. I'm sure it's been a while since you had any of my cooking." I teased.

"Yeah! And it's even better than I remember!" He continued, shoving his face with food.

I laughed and grabbed my coat. "Well I'm glad you approve. It's good to have you back."

"Hay, where you going?!" Naruto asked. "The party's still going on!"

"Well some of us have responsibilities." I sighed. "Seiko's home by herself and it's getting late."

"Oh, alright, but you'll come see the new techniques I learned from Pervy Sage tomorrow, right?!" the blonde begged.

"Sure thing, dork." I smiled.

* * *

Once I got home, I walked in and found Seiko asleep on the stairs, waiting for me. Neko was curled up at her feet.

Gingerly, I nudged my sister awake and guided her to her room, then found my way to my room.

I glanced at the clock as I took off my make up and dressed for bed. It read 3 am.

I swore as I climbed into my bed. I had clinic duty at the hospital in the morning, which meant I had to be up at sunrise. I was gonna look like death warmed over.

Neko meowed quietly as she jumped up on the bed and took her place beside me. Within minutes, her purring lulled me to sleep.


	5. What Part Of Living Says You Gotta Die?

I sighed as I examined my umpteenth patient. It was probably my 10th kid. They cried as I poked and prodded their injuries. Of course they'd received them while training. I remembered those days quite well actually.

"Miss Tama." A hospital assistant spoke from the doorway.

"Yes, what is it?" I asked.

"Lady Tsunade wanted to see you."

I gulped. Why'd she wanna see me?

* * *

As I walked to the Hokage's office, I ran into a familiar head of pink hair

"Oh hello Sakura. Did the Hokage call to speak with you too?" I questioned.

She nodded. "Yeah she did."

We quickly reached the Hokage's office and entered. Kakashi-Sensei, and Naruto were in there as well, which was weird.

"Tama, Sakura, good you're here." Tsunade spoke sharply.

"We've received word from the Sand village. It's not good." Shizune spoke gravely.

"W-what's happened?!" I asked, worried.

"The Kazekage's been kidnapped...and his borther's gravely injured." Tsunade continued.

I balked. "BY WHO?!"

"The Akatsuki...those damn bastards!" Naruto growled angrily.

"Pardon me, m'lady, but what does this have to do with us?" Sakura questioned.

"The Sand village has requested our assistence. I'm sending Naruto and Kakashi, but I want you and Tama to join them. The Akatsuki are after genchurikis, which means Naruto is in as much danger as Gaara. You both have studied under me and work well with Naruto." The Hokage explained.

"So basically we gotta watcch Naruto's ass?" I asked, rasing an eyebrow.

Tsunade pursed her lips. "That's the idea."

* * *

As we hurried towards the Sand village, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of fear. Yeah the Akatsuki and genchurikis were all the talk among ninja lately,but dud WE have to face them? I mean...the Kazekage had been kidnapped, and for all we know there could be a trap lying in wait for Naruto. This wouldn't be a walk in the park.

"Hay, Tama, you've grown pretty quiet." Sakura assessed.

I pursed my lips. "Sorry, just thinking."

"Well don't think too much! You and Sakura need your strength if we're gonna reach the Sand village soon." Naruto called back to us.

"Don't expend too much energy Naruto. It'll still take us at least 3 days to reach the village." Kakashi-Sensei spoke wisely.

Everything fell silent again as we continued to make our way to our allie's aid.

* * *

"Aw, come on! This isn't the time to be resting!" Naruto yelled furiously.

"Will you just shut the hell up?!" I growled and glared at him.

"Jeez I forgot how scary you can be Tama." He muttered in definance.

"There's a sandstorm out there. If we go out in it, we'll get lost for sure." Temari pointed out.

"She's right, Naruto. For now, we stay here and leave as soon as this storm passes." Kakashi spoke with finality.

I sighed. I understood what Naruto was feeling, but his habit of not listening was getting on my ever lasting nerves.

Spending almost 3 days around him couldn't be good for my health, especially my mental health.

I prayed the storm would pass soon.

* * *

And I guess God does answer prayers. The storm finally did pass and we arrived at the village.

Temari about had a heart attack. I think we all about did. The entrance to the village was in shambles.

An official came up to us and ushered our group to where Kankuro was being housed.

"H-how bad is he?" Temari asked shakily.

"He's been poisoned. We can't seem to find an antidote for it, but our team is still working on it."

For a moment, she froze.

"Hay, it's gonna be okay." I said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

She managed a weak smile as we made our way to Kankuro's room, but that smile turned to terror as she heard his cries.

"Kankuro!" She yelled, fearful she was losing her brother.

Sakura got intel from the other medical ninja and set to work examining the injured Sand ninja.

I took Temari outside to get some air.

* * *

After what seemed like hours, Kakashi and Sakura came to fetch Temari and I.

"He's gonna be alright. I managed to get the majority of the poison out of his system, and came up with an antidote." Sakura smiled tiredly.

Temari smiled genuinely and hugged Sakura, then ran to see her brother.

I followed, feeling relieved. No one had died.

I showed up in Kankuro's room, unsure of my place. Kakashi and Naruto were getting intel from Kankuro so they could track Gaara, and Sakura was being thanked by the siblings for her amazing ninjutsu skills. But I hadn't done anything. I wasn't really even necessary, was I?

"Tama," A scratchy voice called out.

I snapped my head up and stared right at Kankuro. He looked so different without his usual makeup and uniform.

"Thank you."

I continued looking at him, puzzled.

"I'm sure my sister gave you hell while I was out of it."

I shook my head. "She was just worried about you."

"Well, thank you for keeping her out of trouble."


	6. This House Is Not A Home!

A. Whole. Damn. Week. I repeat. A WHOLE week, went by as we attempted to complete our mission.

In the process, Gui-Sensei, Neji, Lee, and Ten-Ten had fought clones of themselves, Sakura and Lady Chiyo had defeated one Akatsuki member, Naruto and Kakashi had fought another till he commited suicide, I nearly got killed by Naruto in his nine tails form, Gaara had died, Lady Chiyo sacrificed herself to bring Gaara back, and now we were heading back to the Leaf village.

Talk about tired. Gui-Sensei actually had to CARRY Kakashi-Sensei back to our village. It would have been hilarious if I hadn't been so tired.

"Um, do you think Gui-Sensei overdid it just a little? Kakashi doesn't look so good." Ten-Ten stated, looking at the team captain.

"Right, Team Gui, Team Kakashi, I'm going to take Kakashi to the hospital to be examined. The rest of you, go home and get some rest. We'll report to Tsunade first thing in the morning." Gui-Sensei explained.

We all nodded and said our goodbyes before heading to our houses.

I smiled at the prospect of being back home, with Seiko and Nekko.

* * *

Once I reached my house, the door flew open and someone ran out to greet me.

"Tama! You're back!" My little sister screamed, grabbing me in a fierce hug.

I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "I told you I'd be back didn't I?"

She grinned her toothy grin and pointed to her headband. The band was red with the village's insigna in the middle.

"Aw, I missed your graduation, didn't I?" I pouted.

"It's okay. I know you were busy." She smiled, not showing any sadness.

"Well, let's go inside and you can tell me all about it, okay?" I said, grabbing her hand.

She dragged me along into the house and into the kitchen.

* * *

"D-dad? You're back already?" I said, shocked that my father was standing in the kitchen, holding a cup of tea in his hands.

Of course, he frowned when he saw some of the scratches and bruises I had received from my week long mission.

"I see you're back in one piece." He stated.

"Sure am." I said awkwardly. Dad and I had never been good at making small talk.

He grunted in response while I grabbed an apple from the pantry.

"When did you get back?" I asked.

"Three days ago." He responded as I sliced up my apple.

"So did you go to Seiko's graduation?"

"No. I was busy." He answered.

"Likely story." I mumbled. "You're always busy."

"Don't start that Tama. You know I have other responsibilities than just you and your sister." Dad replied.

His statement made me take notice of his outfit. He was in normal clothing, but his arms were still bare. On his left arm, he had his Anbu Black Ops tattoo.

My heart fluttered in my chest. One day I'd have that same tattoo and join the ranks of the anbu with my dad and my mother.

"You didn't come to mine either..." I mumbled.

"I was busy then too."

"Everyone else's parents were there."

"Tama, just drop it. We'll talk about this in the morning." He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

In frustration, I slammed my knife down and whirled around to face my so called father.

"No, I'm not gonna drop this!" I glared. "You're always doing this! You're always leaving me and Seiko to fend for ourselves! Even at mom's funeral, you weren't there for us!"

"Tama, that's enough!" dad yelled.

"No, it's not!" I screamed. "Why can't you just be our FATHER and support us?"

"I would support you gave up this sillly dream of being in the Black Ops! Same goes for your sister!" dad snarled angrily.

"You're so hypocritical!"

He didn't answer me back with words, instead his palm colided with my cheek, shocking me.

I gingerly cupped my red cheek and cursed the tears that threatened to fall.

Slowly I got up and stared him in the eye.

Seiko suddenly burst into tears and ran to me, hugging my waist.

"Stop fighting!" She cried pittifully. "Don't be mean to Tama, father!"

I squeezed Seiko's body closer to mine for a moment then moved away.

"Your father died when mom passed, Seiko."

She looked at me with sadness mixed with shock while dad just glared. I should have expected that.

I gritted my teeth and ran upstairs to my room. Once in there, I locked the door and opened my window. I jumped out and grabbed ahold of a tree branch and easily landed on the ground. I then ran away, away from the anger and sadness that threatened to overwhelm me.


	7. Wake Me Up & Tell Me I'm Just Imagining

Once I'd regained some mental clarity, I found myself at the lake. Had I really run that far?

I plopped down on a rock and stared up at the clear night sky. The stars shone through like glitter on velvet. It made me think of my mother...and regetably my father...I shouldn't have said those hurtful words to him.

I groaned from the internal pain I felt and laid back on the rock, continuing to stare at the sky.

Within moments, I dozed off. The stress of the mission, and the argument I'd had with my father had drained me.

* * *

Before I knew what was happening, I was falling...and landed right on my butt.

"Ow!" I growled, still half dazed.

I then felt someone near me. WIthout thinking, I threw a kunai in the direction of the person.

They dodged the attack and something barked.

"Hay! What the hell Tama?" A familiar voice questioned, holding his cheek.

I gasped when I realized it was Kiba.

"Kiba! Akumaru! What are you guys doing out here?" I asked.

Kiba and his ninja hound came out of hiding and joined me near the rock.

"Well...Akimaru and I...kinda...heard you...and your dad, fighting." He admitted while blushing horribly.

I furrowed my brow. How had he heard me? I then realized...I was talking to a boy who had the senses of a dog.

He chuckled nervously and went even redder. "Sorry, I wasn't try to spy on you or anything...you guys just got kinda...loud."

I gave him a partial smile while walking up to him and placing my hand over his cheek. I closed my eyes, ignoring his embarrassment and began applying healing chakra to where my kunai had grazed him.

After a few moments, I stepped away, blushing. Damn had it gotten warmer suddenly?

"Thanks, Tama." He smiled toothily.

"Y-you're welcome." I mumbled quietly, walking back to the rock.

Pretty soon Kiba sat down beside me and started to look up at the sky.

"Beautiful night, isn't it?" I asked, smiling at the heavens.

He grunted in response.

* * *

As the silence between us rolled on, I closed my eyes.

"So you wanna talk about it?" Kiba's rough voice broke through my tranquil state.

I opened one eye and looked at him, then closed it again.

"Not much to talk about if you heard us."

"Aw come on." He begged.

"Fathers are dicks." I stated simply.

"I wouldn't know..." He muttered, looking away.

I realized how my words had hurt him and opened my eyes fully. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"No, it's okay." He said, giving me a small smile.

I sighed and stared out at the lake. "It's just...ever since mom...died...it's like he died too. He doesn't even care about me and Seiko anymore. He didn't come to either of our graduations...He didn't even see this..."

I then proceeded to slip my skirt up an inch and flash a small tattoo I'd gotten in secret on my sixteenth birthday. It was the symbol of my clan; a diamond shaped figure with a crack going down the middle of it.

I chuckled at his reaction and fixed my skirt back the way it was.

After spending hours ranting about how frustrated I was with my family, I finally expended myself and ended up drifting off to sleep.

* * *

I was awakened by the sounds of birds chirping outside my window. As the fog slowly left my mind, I remembered being with Kiba the night before. Had he brought me home?

Any attempts at remembering what went on were interupted by the sounds of screaming, followed by wailing.

I shot up and bolted out of my room. Vaguely I realized I was still in my chuunin uniform.

"Seiko?!" I yelled, looking towards my sister's room. The screams became blood curdling, and they were coming from downstairs.

I took off down the stair case, nearly tripping since I was still in my shoes.

"Dad?! Seiko?!" I called out again.

I finally found where the screams were coming from...father's bedroom.

"Seiko?!" I called again.

My sister was crumpled on the ground, staring into the room.

Her face mirrored that of a tortured soul that escaped hell and had lived to tell the tale.

"Seiko...?" I stepped towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

Once I touched her, she burried her face in my shirt and bawled.

I dared to look into father's room, curious as to why my sister was in hystarics.

Now, I wish I hadn't.

* * *

The light from the rest of the house shone in, revealing deep red, almost black stains on the bed. I gazed up and saw where the black and red was coming from.

"Fa-father?! Father!" I screamed. Suddenly my body moved of its own accord. I pushed my sister away and ran towards the body that was hanging over the large bed.

"No, no, no, no, no,no." I repeated, attempting to remove the swords that were holding my father's arms in a crucifix-like position.

With each passing second, my hands, arms, and shirt became bloody. Tears soaked my face, but I barely noticed. All I cared about, was working my medical ninjutsu to help my father.

Again, and again I applied chakra. Seiko cried silently and I cursed mentally. Why wasn't this working?!

"Come on!" I muttered, blinking away the tears.

I was so focused that I didn't notice that I had an audience until an arm rested on my shoulder.

"Tama, that's enough. He's gone." I looked up and saw Kakashi-Sensei standing there. Along with him was Gui-Sensei, Asuma-Senei, and Kureni-Sensei. Lady Tsunade walked to my father's body while Shizune held Seiko's shocked form.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!" I screamed, slapping Tsunade's hand away. "HE'S NOT DEAD!"

Kakashi had to hold me back while Tsunade examined my father. Tears streamed down my face as my mind processed that...

"I'm so sorry, Tama; Seiko. He's dead."

After that I don't remember much.


	8. This Day Could Be The Worst One Yet

_**A/N THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS CONTENT THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION THANK YOU**_

Days passed by, slow and agonizing. I didn't sleep much. If I did fall asleep, nightmares plauged me until I woke up screaming.

Seiko stopped talking, at least, from what everyone was telling me.

I was staying with Tsume-Senei while Seiko was staying wither her team's captain. I hated not seeing my sister, but I wouldn't be much comfort to her right now.

"Tama, are you ready? It's time to go." Someone called through the door.

I opened the door and was met by Kiba and Toku. Both were looking at me with what I imagined was pitty.

I sighed. I wished they would stop looking at me like that.

Together we made our way to my father's wake.

* * *

Once we got there. I was surprised. Over half the village had made an appearance, donned in their black outfits.

I took my seat near the front while my friends joined the other mourners. Seiko eventually sat beside me. Her face mirrored my own. She was tired and sad. Tears were pricking her at the edges of her eyes.

Akwardly, I wrapped an arm around her as the hokage began the ceremony.

* * *

As the wake came to a close, many of the mourners came up to me and my sister. They spoke words of comfort that barely registered. I just wanted to go to bed.

The crowd finally dissipated around sunset. I hugged my sister and traveled back to my team captain's house.

I welcomed the solitude as I locked myself in my room.

I then changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed, not caring if it was still early.

A door slammed shut and I head the muffled voices of the Inuzuka family members speaking and preparing supper.

I closed my eyes and willed myself to fall asleep. I prayed the nightmares would go away.

* * *

_Seiko was screaming like a mad woman. Fear crept into my mind. Where was father?_

_I ran to the sounds of my sister's screaming and looked into the darkened room that was my father's._

_Seiko shrieked even louder as I swung the door all the way open._

_My legs nearly gave out at the sight of the red and black stains that soaked the bed._

_I nearly vomited at the sight of my father's body nailed to the wall._

_In hysterics, I ran to his lifeless body and began trying to bring him back. Of course it did no good..._

_BUT I COULDN'T LOSE HIM!_

_Again and again I tried to treat his wounds...but it was impossible. He was gone._

_I stared at my arms, covered in blood, and slowly started crying. The crying then turned to screaming..._

* * *

That's when my eyes fluttered open. For a few moments, I couldn't move. Sleep paralysis gripped me while tears flowed from my eyes.

"It was just a dream, just a dream." I mumbled breathily, attempting to stop the waterworks. But it didn't do any good.

My body began shaking as the tears turned to full on sobbing.

What the bloody hell was wrong with me? I shouldn't be losing control like this.

I slapped my face, angry that I couldn't stop the breakdown that I was experiencing.

After 10 minutes passed, I was getting pissed at myself. I couldn't stop this pathetic sobbing!

"I just want to stop crying..." I thought angrily.

As I was wrapped in my thoughts, a loud 'clank' resounded.

I looked down and realized that the kunai that I kept under my pillow had fallen.

I reached down and picked it up, but kept staring at it.

Gingerly, I pricked the tip of the sharp instrument and pressed my fingertip to the point. With enough pressure, I eventually broke the skin and drew blood.

I hissed in pain and licked the wound. I noticed my sobs had slowed.

Again, I picked up my kunai. This time, I pressed it to my wrist...

I gripped it extra tight. I knew this was wrong...but, how could it be if it was HELPING me?

Without hesitating, I slid the blade across the skin of my left wrist. Blood pooled at the wound and made a pretty line.

Again and again I slid the knife across my wrist. More and more lines were forming. I could feel the tears stop flowing from my eyes. I almost felt...okay?

* * *

I eventually stopped when the aching in my wrist became unbearable. Quietly, I slipped to the bathroom and locked the door.

I then ran my crimson wrist under the sink and wrapped it up in bandages. Once that was done I ran back to the room I was sleeping in and attempted to go back to sleep.

Surprisingly, I had no nightmares...


	9. Devote Yourself To Moving On

Kiba's POV

Sometime in the middle of the night, he smelt blood. At first it alarmed him, but then he heard the sounds of someone rushing to the bathroom. Immediately the panic died down. One of the three females he shared a house with must be starting their cycle. He mentally noted that he should play nice tomorrow so as not to anger whoever the poor soul was.

Just as he was about to go to sleep, the toilet flushed and someone came out of the bathroom. He listened for a moment and followed the sounds to the guest bedroom. Guess it was Tama who had started.

He sighed and tried going back to sleep, but that luxury eluded him as he continued thinking on the day...and week's events.

* * *

He remembered that day. Kakashi came by and informed him and his mother that Tama was in the hospital for observation. Apparently she had a nervous breakdown and blacked out.

After hearing what happened, he was surprised she hadn't went entirely insane.

But her father's death weighed on her; and on him too. He knew that the last time Tama saw her father was the night before...and they had fought.

Over the past few days, Tama refused to eat and she stayed in the guest room whenever it wasn't necessary for her to be out.

This disturbed him the most. She hadn't even tried visiting her sister.

Akumaru whined quietly and licked Kiba's hand, wanting him to stop being so restless and go back to sleep.

"Alright boy, alright." He muttered and shut his eyes. Thoughts of the girl sleeping in the guest room slipped from his conscience as sleep overtook him.

* * *

Normal POV

I didn't wake up till later the next day. It was like a bad dream. But reality hit me with shooting pain in my wrist, reminding me of what I did.

I felt guilt, but also pleasure; two emotions I hadn't felt in over a week. I felt more clear headed, which was weird. Ever since I blacked out the day...it happened...I felt like I was in a fog. Now I felt like there was a barrier between me and the pain I'd been feeling.

I pulled the sleeve of my shirt up to examine the wound. I expected drying blood to still be present on my skin. However, I didn't expect to see...crimson colored crystals where the cuts should have been oozing blood.

Panic creeped into me. What the hell was this?!

I touched the crystal substance. It didn't hurt...it felt weird, like a scab.

I knew I couldn't ask for help; that would mean telling someone what I did. That wasn't gonna happen in this lifetime. I'd have to research this on my own.

Shaking the frantic thoughts away, I quickly got up and dressed; donning a tank top that was a size too big and some shorts. I changed the bandages on my arms and grabbed my gear. Today I would work even harder to get to where I wanted to be. I wanted to be in the ranks of ANBU as either a combat ninja or medical ninja. I really didn't' care which I became, as long as I became one as soon as possible.

My parents had been ANBU and being among those ranks would allow me more info on who killed my father and why.

I could feel the shadow of a smile tug at my lips. I had a purpose; a goal. No one would get in my way.

* * *

When I finally returned to the Inuzuka's household, I practically collapsed in the entranceway. I had trained almost non stop all day and my chakra was seriously depleted.

Tsume scolded me for training this carelessly, but I paid her no mind. In fact, I'm pretty sure I was half asleep when she lectured me.

The next thing I remembered, was someone carrying to my room. I was too tired to see who it was and curled myself closer to their warm chest.

Complete unconsciousness took over and again, the bloody nightmares hounded me.


	10. Blood On Her Skin, Dripping With Sin

"Tama-Sensei, can't we take a break?" A young gennin whined, trying to catch his breath. The two other gennin silently backed their teammate up. They'd been training since early that morning.

I glared at the kids. "Not, until I say so. I warned you when I became your team captain that I'd be hard on you, now let's run through the exercise again."

The gennin who'd asked if we could take a break sighed and went to his position. The other two followed suit.

The purpose of the exercise was to work on their critical thinking skills. In the battlefield, there was no time to ponder over strategies.

"What two type of people are there?" I barked, throwing some kunai at the students.

They dodged my attacks and sent counter ones flying back at me.

"The quick and the dead!" They repeated.

"What are you?" I again yelled, going after them with tai-jutsu.

"The quick!" They yelled, while trying to attack me.

"And what are they?"

"The dead!" They answered.

After several minutes, our sparring match fizzled out; my students too tired to go on.

I smirked. I may be tough on them, but they took it well, even looked forward to our training sessions.

"Go home, take the weekend off." I smiled at them. "You've earned it."

They grinned and took off to the heart of the village to get something to eat.

I picked up my tools and made my way to the Inuzuka's house. It'd been a year since I moved in with them...since that day...

Subconsciously, my hand went to my wrist and flinched as pain shot through it.

* * *

While walking, I ran into a familiar blue eyed girl.

"Tama!" My teammate, Toku greeted, smiling.

I gave her a tired smile as she followed me to where I was staying. "Hello. Toku."

She then held out a small package. I looked at her confused.

"I-I didn't know what to get you when you were promoted to jounin, but I saw this and I thought you'd like it." She stuttered.

I opened the present and just stared. It was a necklace with a small garnet stone as the charm. It probably costed her a small fortune.

"Thank you. I absolutely love it!" I stated, putting the necklace on and hugging her.

Our little celebration was then interrupted by the screeching of a bird. Lady Tsunade was signalling us to visit her office.

We took off running, not wanting to keep our Hokage waiting.

* * *

"You called for us ma'am!" I inquired, walking straight into her personal office. I'd done this thousands of times before and she never minded.

The Hokage smirked. "I have a mission for the two of you. A merchant from the land of Stone is seeking protection while returning to his village."

I smirked. "Doesn't sound very challenging."

"You'll be leaving first thing tomorrow morning. You're dismissed." She stated as she went back to her stack of paperwork.

Toku bowed her head and quietly took her leave while I stayed behind. There was something I'd been meaning to discuss.

"Is there something you want, Tama?" Lady Tsunade asked, glancing at me.

"Yes. I-I know I just became a jounin, but I would like to undergo training to become an Anbu. I'd still train my team, and-and go on missions when requested." I rambled, becoming flustered.

"Anbu training isn't some class like at the accademy! You very well could die." The woman explained.

Letting my irritability get to me, I rolled my eyes. "And I really don't care."

"Have you lost your mind?"

"Maybe."

"What about your sister? Have you even thought about her?"

"I have. She's better off without me." I told her, not caring how blunt I was being.

Tsunade just sighed and rubbed her temples. "You're as stubborn as that Naruto."

I continued standing there, waiting for a definitive answer.

"My mother and father were both Anbu. I know I'm meant to do this." I pushed.

I met her tired looking eyes, not flinching. "Fine. When you return, you'll begin your Anbu training."

I bowed and thanked her before leaving. Anbu training was the first step in finding out what happened to my father.

* * *

I decided to pay a visit to my sister before settling in for the evening. She was still staying with her team captain.

Instead of using the door, I was able to jump up to the second story window and go straight into her bedroom.

I looked around the room, wondering where Seiko could be. It was too late to bed out training, ans she was still too young to be out partying.

Eventually she popped in, clad in a large shirt and shorts. Her damp hair tied up in a ponytail.

"Tama, what are you doing here?" She asked as she threw her towel in the dirty laundry basket.

"I wanted to see you kid." I smirked, sitting on her bed.

She chuckled. "You never come to see me."

"Hay, I've been busy." I told the now thirteen year old.

"And you've got something big to tell me, don't you?"

Reluctantly I sighed. "I'm leaving in the morning. Got a protection run...and when I get back...I'm going to be training to become and Anbu member."

"And there's a chance you'll die, right? I heard the rumors. Anbu training isn't like normal training."

I nodded.

"Then why do it?" She asked.

"You know as well as I do that the Anbu ranks are tight. If I get in, I'll have access to information that could tell us who killed dad."

Seiko looked down.

"Hay, don't look so down. I'm not dead yet." I teased, attempting to lighten the mood.

She gave me a ghost of a smile. I realized how much she had changed since father passed.

She had been growing her hair out and I could smell the smoke on her clothes.

"Thirteen's a little young to be smoking." I observed.

She blushed madly. "It helps...with the stress."

"You steal them from Asuma?" I questioned.

She gave me a mischievous grin, still blushing.

Guess I'd have to warn Asuma that he had a thief on his hands.

I reached an arm out for her. She latched onto me.

"Promise you'll be back soon?"

I smiled. "Yeah. Why don't we do something special when I get back? Just the two of us."

She hugged me tighter.

I chuckled. "Alright, well I have to go, okay."

She flashed a sad smile and watched me disappear out the window.

What she didn't know, was that I went to my room, locked myself in, and proceeded to breakdown.

* * *

The mental fog creeped into my brain. The images that my nightmares produced plagued me, and imaginary blood stained my hands.

Instantly I grabbed my kunai and began slicing any easily accessible skin. Within moments the calming effect took hold.

I could breathe again.

I then watched as the wounds turned into slivers of red crystal. Too bad this ability didn't stop me from having scars...so far there were over a thousand.


	11. Wherever I Go, Trouble Seems To Follow

Noise invade my dreams and pried me from the clutches of slumber. I grumbled out a few expletives as I opened my eyes and saw that it was morning. It was time for me to wake up and head out on my mission.

I fumbled around my room and threw on my clothes, then ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Of course, I was so focused on getting in the bathroom that I didn't pay attention to the fact that there was someone else in there.

I collided with a body that grabbed ahold of my arms to steady myself. Pain shot through my veins as the person held my wounded arms. I hissed involuntarily.

"Hay, where's the fire, Tama?" A familiar voice asked.

I looked up at Kiba. His hands still were wrapped around my wrists.

"N-nowhere. I need to get ready." I stuttered, freeing my hands.

He gave me a weird look but didn't say anything. Instead, he left the bathroom and let me get ready for the day in peace.

* * *

"About time you showed up!" Toku exclaimed, giving me her signature look.

I blushed and scratched the back of my head.

I then was spared having to answer her when Kiba showed up.

"W-what are you doing here?!" I questioned.

He looked away then back to us. "Lady Tsunade asked me."

"So these are the ninja that are gonna get me back to my village safely?" A deep voice wondered.

We all looked in the direction of the voice.

"Y-yes sir. I'm Tama Kitame. These are my teammates, Kiba Inuzuka and Toku Hyuga." I greeted. Since I was the only one who was a jounin, I was the team captain.

He nodded in response. "I'm Kazuto Moriyama. I didn't think they'd be sending kids to escort me."

I bit my lip to keep from making a smart remark. Yeah I wasn't the tallest person in the village, but I WAS a freaking jounin! Would it kill someone to acknowledge that fact?

"Shall we be off, then?" Toku asked, breaking up the awkward moment.

We all nodded and made our way to the Stone Village.

* * *

It was late in the evening when we stopped for the day. I set my tent up then went to work making dinner.

Toku made conversation with the merchant while Kiba and Akumaru scouted the area for danger.

All in all, it was actually a pleasant evening.

Until AKumaru came barreling through the clearing and right up to me, smearing blood all over my body.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I screamed, taken aback by the dog's unsightly appearance.

Toku and Mr. Moriyama heard the noise and asked me what was wrong.

"I-I don't know! Where's all this blood coming from?!" I asked, prodding the dog, trying to find the source.

After a moment, I gave up. It wasn't his...but where was Kiba?

"Don't tell me..."

"Don't tell you what?" Toku questioned, getting annoyed by my lack of communication.

I shook my head and grabbed my ninja gear. "Just keep Mr. Moriyama safe! I think something's happened to Kiba!"

Toku frowned but nodded in acknowledgement.

AKumaru led the way while I ran through the forest, hoping something fatal hadn't happened to my...my friend.

**(Sorry this is such a sort chapter :( I'm hoping to make a better quality one over the weekend! Anyways, comment if you like the story so far :) xx)**


	12. I'll Fight Or Be Taken Out Alive!

Adrenaline. Fear. Anxiety. I felt all that as I ran through the forest. Akumaru was leading me and I trusted him with my life right now. He wouldn't let his master down.

A sharp yelp pierced the silence that inveloped us. Akumaru had just dodged a kunai that would have pierced his jugular.

I continued moving forward, until I approached a crumpled heap on the ground.

"Kiba?!" I asked, stepping closer and touching his cloak.

A few moments passed before Kiba could move. He tried to smile, but instead he frowned from the pain he was in.

"Shh don't move." i whispered, trying to keep it together. "You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. Just let me heal you."

Akumaru wimpered and nudged his master, worried when he wouldn't move. I proceeded to work medical ninjutsu, praying I could save him.

* * *

Sharp, hot pain seared my bicep, causing me to lose focus. I realized too late I'd been grazed by a kunai.

Akumaru barked and moved in front of Kiba. I pulled out my ninja tools, ready to fight whoever was attacking us.

A shadow appeared, growing more and more visable till I saw it was a man.

I shivered. The man's eyes...they were filled with malice, and evil intentions. They hungered for bloodshed.

Akumaru growled fiercely, willing to protect his master with his life.

The unknown man walked boldly towards us.

I brandished a kunai and flung at him. He easily dodged it and hurled two back at me. I dodged one, but allowed the second one to hit me. If I had dodged it, it would have hit Kiba.

"Akumaru, take Kiba back to camp! Get help immediately, okay boy?" I ordered.

The ninja hound barked in acknowlement, before he took off with Kiba lying limp over his back.

Guess I'd have to face this guy...alone.

* * *

I turned to the evil eyed man. "Who are you?! What do you want?"

He grinned maliciously before throwing another kunai at me. I jumped up and dodged it before throwing a shuriken.

"I'm hurt. Don't you recognise me...Tama Kitame."

I gulped and nearly fell. How did he know my name? I swear I'd never met him before.

"How'd you know my name?" I questioned.

"You've made quite a reputation for yourself. You've grown strong as a ninja, much stronger than that crying blubbering child you were over a year ago..." He continued.

My mind was still drawing blanks.

"Why'd you hurt Kiba? We haven't done anything to you!" I shouted.

"Well, a little birdie told me you were going on a mission in these parts...and I just had to see how you were dealing with your father's horrific death. Speaking of which, how is your sister doing?"

I paused in my movements. He stalked closer.

"How do you know about us? Just who the hell are you?"

He smirked. "I'm the man who murdered your father."

* * *

Time itself seemed to stop. My body couldn't move. THIS was the person who'd ruined my life?

"Wh-why?" I managed to sputtered out.

"Let's just say, we had history."

He finally started chuckling, amused by the sickness in his mind and soul.

I grew pissed. This man killed my father, ruined my life and my sister's life, making us orphans and he was LAUGHING?!

Without thinking, I used my kunai, slicing open a wound along my arm, from elbow to wrist.

"You're gonna pay, you bastard!" I screamed before completling the jutsu.

"Oh?" He wondered, leaning his head to one side.

"CRIMSON BLADE!" I yelled. The blood from the wound crystalized and came forward, molding itself into a fierce looking blade.

The man looked at me curiously. "My, my, that IS an interesting jutsu."

I shrieked and sprang forward, swinging my arm with it's new weapon. I wanted this man DEAD.

He easily dodged the attack and threw kunai at me. I blocked them and continued trying to get close.

* * *

The fight dragged on. I was covered in sweat, dirt, and blood (most of it being my own).

I was almost out of chakra, I was cut and bruised all to hell, but I had to take this guy down. If I didn't, I'd be dead.

"You had enough, kid?" The evil man sneered.

I grit my teeth, trying not to cry out in pain. I had to endure it.

But I couldn't defeat him. He was too strong and he had too much chakra. I couldn't run either. He'd go after me, my family, and anyone I was close to back in the village.

There was only one more option that might end up with me winning this fight...but it was risky. I'd only practiced the jutsu a handful of times...and I wasn't sure I had enough chakra. I could faint before finishing and that would be bad for me.

But hay, nothing ventured, nothing gained right?

I took a ragged breath and began the hand formations, then stared.

3...

The man looked at me weird and laughed. "You think a little jutsu's gonna defeat me? Don't make me laugh."

2...

Come on...This HAD to work!

1...

Just as panic set in, the man doubled over in pain. Within moments, he spat blood.

"Wh-what's happening to me? What did you do you brat?!" He yelled through bloodied coughs.

I wiped my brow and stared at him with cold eyes. "I've crystalized your blood and pierced your internal organs. It's only a matter of time before you die."

He attempted to stand up, but he was already too weak.

I walked to him and looked down. His blood continued crystalizing, killing him slowly.

"Now you have maybe a few minutes before you pass out from shock and blood loss, but I want to know one thing." I told the man. "Tell me your name."

He groaned from the pain he was in. "Nagashi...Nagashi Tamagashi."

**_A/N: Sorry guys this took soooooo long to post and that it's sucky :( but in other news, I went to my first ever anime convention this past weekend! It was magical and I want to go back! Subscribe to my youtube channel to see the video I took :) ( cynical_and_critical)_**


	13. So I Bear My Skin And I Count My Sins

The sun wass setting as I stumbled back to camp...at least I was pretty sure I was heading in the direction of camp. Nausea and dizziness overwhelmed me. The fight had taken a lot out of me.

Suddenly I was enveloped by something warm and furry. Akumaru whimpered in concern and continued nudging me.

I clung to him, feeling my legs give out. Toku appeared and helped my weak body to my tent.

* * *

"H-how's Kiba?" I questioned, growing more tired by the minute.

"Shh he's fine. It's you I'm worried about. What the hell happened?!" My friend pondered, working medical ninjutsu on my worn limbs.

"Some asshole attacked Kiba. I-I fought him off. It's nothing." I lied. I was too drained to even think of what actually happened.

I felt my friend's hand carress my face before I passed out.

* * *

_I walked out of my room. Just then I heard my sister's screams. I ran down the stairs, still clad in my nin gear._

_When I reached my sister, she was standing in front of dad's room. As I neared her, she crumpled, still screaming._

_I wrapped my arms around her. She clung to me as if her life depended on it. I decided to look in the direction she was staring at._

_I saw a man, pinning my dad arms to the wall above his bed. Dad moaned lightly before the man stabbed him again, and again, and again._

_This time...I screamed._

_The man then turned to me. His eyes...shone with bloodlust. It was Nagashi Tamagashi..._

* * *

I woke up suddenly. It took me a moment to move; my body gripped by sleep paralysis. My heartrate was through the roof. I was covered in a cold sweat and my eyes stung with tears.

"Dammit." I muttered, trying to calm down.

My futile attempts at calming myself only increased the anxiety and panic I was feeling.

Without thinking, I found my kunai and rolled up the sleeve of my shirt. I took a moment to stare at the scarred arm. Pretty soon, it'd be more scar tissue than regular skin.

I pressed the knife to my skin and sliced. For a moment, I felt relief.

_I then saw my father's body..._

Without thinking, I made a second cut on my arm.

_I heard my sister's screaming..._

Again, I slid the blade across my skin, drawing more of that beautiful blood.

_I saw the man's eyes..._

_I saw my father's blood on my own hands..._

_I remembered the last words I'd ever said to him...**"Why can't you just be our father?!"**...**"You're so hypocritical!"**..._

Recklessly, I continued cutting, not even feeling the pain. With every cut, I went deeper and deeper. Blood ran down my arm, staining my clothes.

My body was on auto pilot while I relived these nightmarish memories. I was trapped in my blood-riddled trance, continuing to cut.

* * *

_**Kiba's POV**_

The smell of blood woke the boy from his deep slumber. Akumaru smelled it too.

The two rose from their tents and went out to investigate.

Within moments, the pair pinpointed where the bloody smell was coming from. It was coming from Tama's tent.

He went towards the tent, but hesitated. He didn't wanna intrude...

But the bloody smell grew even stronger.

Akumaru barged in, not caring about privacy. He then whined horribly.

Kiba barged in as well, not liking the smell, or the way Akumaru was acting.

As he walked in, the smell overwhelmed him. He then saw her, just sitting on her sleeping bag.

"Hay, Tama, you-holy shit!" He saw the blood pooling around her arm and on her lap.

"What the hell?! Tama?" He nearly shouted as he kneeled down, and took her bloody knife.

HIs hands quickly became soaked with her blood as he attempted to bandage the wounds. Some of them were fairly deep.

"Tama, talk to me, what the hell's going on?!" He snapped. This wasn't like her. Why was she...destroying herself?!

Slowly, she managed to look at him.

He almost backed away. She wasn't the same Tama...she looked like she'd died.

Just like she did over a year ago...

"Give me my knife." She whispered.

"No way. You're gonna tell me what's going on, and no skipping out on any details."

"The-the man you fought, I-I killed him."

Kiba's eyes grew wide.

"He killed my father...admitted it himself." She finished, nearly tearing up.

Kiba didn't know what to say so he just sat there, holding her bloody wrist. He felt stupid, not being able to say something.

Eventually he found the courage to speak. "You've been doing this since your dad died...right?"

She looked genuinely shocked. "Wh-How'd you know?"

That confirmed his suspicion. "You always reek of blood, and I saw some of the scars."

"I'm not weak and I don't need help. I just...need to forget." She stated, growing drowsy.

"This," He held her injured arm up, "isn't forgetting."

She looked at him.

"It's killing you! Look at yourself. You barely eat, you're pale as a ghost, and you're doing this to yourself!" He was so frustrated with her. She couldn't see how her conditions worried him.

"Just, stop. Please. You don't know what it's like..." Her eyes drooped as sleep took over her.

Kiba gently placed her arm on the ground. He went to leave her, but Akumaru curled up beside her.

"Come on boy." He whispered but the dog ignored him.

Suddenly, Tama began crying and moving about fitfully.

On instinct, he sat down beside her and took her arm. She calmed at his touch and began resting peacefully.

Eventually Kiba himself fell into unconscousness, holding his comrade's bloodied arm.


	14. Make Me Wanna Die

**_A/N: Okay sooooo I wanna give a shoutout to the lovely Female whovian...seriously your review made me smile sooo much and I can't tell you how much it means to find out people actually like my ramblings haha :p anyways, stay awesome and ily okay ^_^ _**

Slowly, I opened my eyes. Small bits of sunlight filtered in through my tent. Instantly, I was overwhelmed with the smell of dog.

Akumaru whimpered happily and licked my face. A shadow of a smile appeared for a moment.

Then my arm started aching awfully.

"Shit." I mumbled, rolling up my sleeve.

I then cursed again. My arm was bandaged...which means...SHIT KIBA WAS HERE AND NOT ONLY DID HE SEE ME LOSING IT, HE FREAKING BANDAGED MY WOUNDS.

Just then, Kiba opened the flap of my tent.

"Oh, hay you're awake." He said quietly.

I averted my gaze and stared at Akumaru. "Yeah."

It was quiet for several moments. The akwardness of it all made me want to die even more than I already wanted to.

"I erm, made breakfast." He said, sitting down and holding out a rice ball for me to take.

"Thanks." I mumbled, taking the food.

He leaned up against Akumaru and quietly ate his food while I waited. I waited for him to say SOMETHING about last night...

But he didn't. He just sat there like nothing had happened.

"If we leave in about an hour, we shoud make it to Mr. Moriyama's village before sundown." Kiba spoke, freeing me from my thoughts.

"Sounds good." I replied.

We then went back to eating in silence.

But it was too much for me.

"Hay, erm, Kiba..." I started, not exactly sure what to say.

He looked me dead in the eyes.

My nerves made me stutter even more. "I-I'm sorry...about last night. Just forget it happened okay?"

He gulped down the last of his breakfast and frowned. "You're joking, right? Tama, have you looked at yourself? You need help."

"No I don't." I snapped.

He glared at me. "Stop playing dumb, Tama. You know as well as I do that last night wasn't nothing."

I glared back. "Drop it, Kiba."

"No! Not till you admit how much your dad's death messed you up!"

Fed up, I walked to the entrance of the tent and went to walk out. "Then you'll be waiting a while...and I'm not messed up!"

* * *

We traveled the better portion of the day to Mr. Moriyama's village and made a collective decision to stay the night and return home the next day. Traveling the roads at night would be dangerous and we were all tired.

Toku and I got a room to ourselves while Kiba and Akumaru had their own room.

"You pissed at Kiba or something?" Toku questioned.

"Yeah, I am." I told her honestly. I didn't feel like lying.

"Why? Last I checked, ya'll were like this." She said, crossing her fingers.

I shrugged. "We were talking. He pissed me off. That's all."

Toku flopped down on her cot. "You should really cut him some slack. He lives with you after all."

I laid down too and stared at the ceiling. "Let's just drop it. I'm tired."

My friend nodded in agreement and closed her eyes.

I attemted to do the same, but sleep evaded me. All I could think of was the fight I had with Kiba.

_Why was I such an ass to my friends?_

_Hell, why was I an ass in general?_

**_"Admit how much your dad's death messed you up!"_**

_Shut up Kiba..._

I growled in frustration before turning over to lay on my side. I extended my arm and rolled the sleeve up just enough to see some of the scars and the fresh wounds from the night before.

_I needed to cut again..._

* * *

Quickly, I got up, found my kunai and went to the window. I opened it and scaled the building to climb up on the roof.

I took in the beauty of the clear night and full moon. It wasn't often I got just withness this. Most of the time I was too busy or asleep to notice anything beautiful anymore.

For a moment, I forgot the real reason I'd come out here.

But the cool metal in my hand reminded me.

I sat down and examined my arms. They were too sore and cut up already to do anything. I then checked my legs. I smiled when I saw the pale unscarred skin of my thighs.

"Perfect." I muttered.

In moments, they were covered in pretty little crimson lines. I smiled. I could breathe again.

"What the hell are you doing?" A voice nearly shouted.

I spun around, nearly dropping my knife.

"K-Kiba, I-I"

If looks could kill, I would have been dead a couple times over. Kiba was PISSED.

"Give. Me. The. Knife." He said through clentched teeth.

I actually felt fear and allowed him to yank the weapon from me.

Without saying a word, he jumped down and went back to his room.

I sat there, still in shock. Tears involuntarily fell from my eyes, mixing with the blood on my thighs.

I wished I was dead.


	15. Don't You Cry

The next day, we traveled back to our home village. It was an uneventful trip thankfully and we reached the village gate around sundown.

"You think we should report to the Hokage first?" Toku asked.

I nodded. There was something I needed to ask our leader anyway.

* * *

When we reached the Hokage's office, a servant led us to the leader's quarters.

"You three are back, I see." Lady Tsunade spoke, looking up from her papers.

We bowed in response.

"M'Lady, we'd like to report that the mission to escort Mr. Moriyama to his home village was successful." I informed.

The elder nodded. "Very good. Now get some rest. I expect you're tired."

Toku walked out first, then Kiba and Akumaru. I turned back to face the Hokage.

"Is there something you want, Tama?" Lady Tsunade questioned.

I bit my lip. "I-I'd like to make a request."

Lady Tsunade waited for me to continue.

"I want all the information you have on my father, and a man named Nagashi Tamagashi."

The Hokage's eyes grew in size and her face frowned at my request. "That's an awfully strange request. What brought this on?"

I sighed. "When we were escorting Mr. Moriyama, Kiba and I were attacked by a guy named Nagashi Tamagashi. I-I ended up killing him."

Lady Tsunade looked shocked.

"I had no choice. He hurt Kiba, and he was about to kill me." I told her, trying not to relive the memories.

"I see. And what does all this have to do with your father?"

"He knew my name, knew I had a sister, and knew my father died a year ago. He said he-he said he killed him." I finished.

Lady Tsunade was quiet for a while.

"Ma'am, I just want to know how this man knew my father and why he killed him. It'd give me peace of mind." I persuaded.

The Hokage sighed and looked at me. "Alright. I'll see what I can find."

"Thank you." I bowed, thanking the village leader. "Oh and when do I begin my Anbu training?"

I was determined to find out why Tamagashi killed my father, AND I wanted to become an Anbu Black Ops member.

"You sure you still want to go through with it? Do you even know the kinda of training you'll have to go through? It'll make all the training you've had up to this point look like child's play."

"I don't give a damn about any of that!" I yelled fiercely.

The Hokage was surprised by my outburst.

"I apologize M'Lady. But I've wanted to become an Anbu member since I was a child. If my father and mother could do it, I know I can."

Lady Tsunade actually smirked. "You've got fire in your eyes kid. You'll need it when you start training. I"ll be sending someone tomorrow morning to pick you up. I hope for your sake you'll be ready."

I felt myself smile. "Thank you M'Lady. I will be."

* * *

I decided to visit my kid sister on the way back to Tsume-Sensei's house.

Without much effort, I jumped up to the window and knocked. In moments, Seiko was there unlocking it.

"Trying to lock me out, eh?" I teased.

"Uryu-Sensei caught me sneaking out...more than once, so she locks the window with a key." My sister stated non-chalantly.

I raised an eyebrow. "Then how the hell'd you-"

She grinned evily while holding up a key. "I did learn from the best after all."

I groaned and flopped on her bed. "I've created a monster."

Seiko chuckled and flopped down beside me. "Rough mission?"

I nodded.

"Well since you're back, can we do something? You did promise we would after all." the young girl asked.

I sighed. "Sure kid. You pick."

She went silent as she began plotting what kind of trouble we'd be getting into.

"I've got it!" She suddenly yelled.

I looked at her, waiting for an answer.

"Well, I've been wanting...a nose piercing."

I watched as she peeked her eyes from behind her bangs.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Pleaseeee Tama, pleaseee." She began begging.

I laughed. "Alright, but I will in no way be responsible for any hell Uryu gives you when you get it done."

She smiled and hugged me tight. "I'm happy you're back."

I returned the hug and burried my face in her hair.

* * *

"You look like a dork." I teased Seiko as we walked back to her team captain's home.

"Do not! I love it!" She insisted. "And besides, at least I'm not covered in tattoos, you ink freak!" She shot back.

"Hay, there's nothing wrong with my tattoos." I defended.

Seiko laughed and suddenly spun around to face me. "Can we get some ramen? I'm hungry."

"Sure, but we'll get it to go. I've got to get up early tomorrow." I told her as we walked up to the ramen stand.

"Why?"

I sighed. "You remember what I told you, about Anbu?"

She nodded and looked away. "You start training tomorrow?"

I grunted in response. "Lady Tsunade's sending someone for me. I don't know how long I'll be gone or if I'll even make it back."

"Don't say that! You'll come back. I know you will."

We took our food from the ramen stand and walked back to Seiko's house.

"Seiko I'm not always gonna be around. I very well could die. I want to know that if something did happen to me, you'd be alright." I pressed.

"Nothing's gonna happen to you!" She shouted with tears pricking her eyes.

"Hay, hay, don't start crying." I cooed, hugging her.

"Can-can you stay the night?" She asked, looking at me with glistening eyes.

I thought for a moment. "Sure kid, but I'll have to leave early tomorrow morning."


	16. What Leaves You Broken Makes You Better

The sun wasn't even up when I woke up the next morning. I took a moment to look at my sister, who was still asleep. She looked so peaceful.

Quietly, I sneaked out of bed and climbed out the window. I then went straight to Tsume-Sensei's house to pack my things.

* * *

As I let myself in the front door, I was met by a large, wet, furry mass.

"Akumaru, down boy." I chided, patting the dog's head.

"Hay, Akumaru, what are you-oh, it's you." Kiba stated as walked in the room.

"Hay yourself. What are you doing up so early?" I asked.

"Akumaru...got sprayed by a skunk." He mumbled as if he were embarrassed.

I actually felt myself ready to burst out laughing. Akumaru, the great ninja hound, got sprayed by a skunk.

"Hay it's not funny!" Kiba growled.

"Kinda is." I shot back.

"What about you? Why are you just getting in?"

"Stayed with Seiko last night...and I-I gotta pack my things." I mumbled.

That got his attention. "Wait, where are you going?"

"Lady Tsunade's sending someone from Anbu to pick me up. I'm gonna train with them, to become an Anbu."

He actually looked sad.

"Were you gonna even tell us?"

"I was gonna write a note if I didn't see you before I left." I told him. "Anyways, I gotta pack."

* * *

Carelessly, I threw clothes, weaponry, and a few momentos into my bag. I knew this training was going to be more like boot camp than training, but I was ready. I was ready to take a step closer to becoming an Anbu member.

"Hay, erm, the people Lady Tsunade sent are here." Kiba informed me.

I nodded and shouldered my bag. "I guess this is goodbye."

I was suddenly enveloped in a hug.

"Hay, it's not like you'll never see me again." I told him, returning the hug.

He just grunted as he let me go.

"Are you ready Miss Kitame?"

I swallowed my anxiety and nodded. "Yes."

I glanced back at Kiba one last time before I was carted off to my new 'home'.

* * *

"Alright maggots, my name is Shiro Kuroko and I will be your personal slave driver!" A tall man with no hair on his face shouted at us. "If I do my job right, most of you will grow to hate me, if you don't already."

I squirmed uncomfotably.

"Welcome to hell." Someone beside me whispered.

I was beginning to think they were right.

* * *

***Time Lapse: 6 months***

"Miss Tama Kitame, would you please step forward to receive your Anbu Black Ops uniform." Mr. Kuroko stated from the podium he was standing at.

Nervously, I stood up and went up to receive my outfit. Thankfully only a handful of people, not including the 20 or so Anbu graduates, were present at the ceremony.

I glanced down at the mask I would be wearing. It was a menacing looking bear mask with white and red paint on it. However, in reserve, I had a frog shaped mask. I was to only use that one if I was assigned to a medical mission.

"I want to say, how proud I am of each one of you. You have earned the distinctinon of being the village's mightiest ninjas. I have no doubts you'll be of great service in the future. Take pride in what you have accomplished this day." Lady Tsunade spoke authoritativly.

* * *

Once the ceremony was finished, I quietly sneaked away. I'd been around these people for too long and just wanted some privacy.

Eventually I found myself at Tsume-Sensei's house. It was quiet, peaceful.

For a moment, I wondered if I should knock...I mean, this wasn't my house...

But I was spared the decision when the door swung open and a large furry mutt jumped me.

"Akumaru! Get off you fat arse!" I chided, attempting to contain my giggles as he licked my cheek.

"Akuma-"

I recognized that gruff voice anywhere.

"Tama?" Kiba asked.

"Yeah. It's me." I spoke softly as Akumaru allowed me to get up. "I'm back from training."

For a moment Kiba just stared at me.

"Y-you look different. I-I mean good, you look good." He stuttered, his face growing redder by the second.

I laughed. "Thanks. You too, Kiba."

* * *

"You're not gonna tell me what happened, are you?" I questioned, looking at Kiba's face. He had some bruising and a few scratches on his face. His arm had cuts as well as a few burns.

He rubbed the back of his neck, as if embarrassed.

Finally, he began telling me of what happened while I was gone. Apparently the village had come under attack...and I had no effing clue.

"Why didn't they tell us?" I wondered out loud. "We could have helped."

"It's no big deal. Everything's fine." He told me, looking away.

I stood up and walked towards him.

"Here. I can't bear to see you all beat up." I told him as I laid my hands on some of his wounds.

He hissed at the initial contact, but relaxed once the wounds began healing.

I smiled to myself as I finished healing Kiba's wounds. It was good to be back.

* * *

_**A/N: Well, if you made it through this mess of a chapter, then I applaud you! :) Writer's block has been horrible :(**_

_**But on the bright side, I do believe I have some good ideas for the next few chapters! **_

_**Also, Female whovian, thank you :) you're a little ray of sunshine and your reviews help make each chapter possible ^_^**_


	17. It's Like You're Sleepwalking

_**Screaming...All I could hear was screaming...**_

**_Blood...All I saw was blood..._**

When I opened my eyes, I realized I was back in my old room at Tsume-Sensei's house. The darkness told me it was still night.

I struggled to breathe, still shaken by the nightmare. You would think that after having nightmares for almost 2 years, I'd be used to it, but I wasn't.

* * *

Once I could move my body, I got up and...grabbed my old friend, my knife...and a new one, a small vile of sake.

No tears slipped down my cheeks as I sipped the dilicious alcohol. The small amount in my possession wasn't enough to get me drunk, but it did help me sleep at night.

I slipped my pajama bottoms down and went about painting pretty little lines on my thighs.

Even Anbu training hadn't broken me of my way of 'coping'.

Just then, my door burst open.

On instinct, I threw my bloodied knife.

I then saw who had entered my room. Shit it was Kiba.

He held the knife between his hands and looked at me.

"I smelled blood." He told me blankly.

FUCK I WAS JUST IN MY UNDERWEAR AND A SHIRT.

He seemed to notice that too. His face turned a cute shade of pink, but his demeanor was serious.

"You're still doing it, aren't you?"

I nodded, not meeting his eyes.

A wad of bandages and ointment were thrust in front of me. I suddenly looked up at Kiba, who was staring at one of the walls.

"Clean yourself up, and put some pants on, jeez." He stated, not even looking at me.

* * *

Once I'd bandaged my wounds, Kiba walked back in the room. He then walked right up to me and grabbed my wrist.

He pushed the fabric of my shirt up till my arm from the elbow down was exposed.

"What the hell? Keep your paws to yourself!" I growled reflexively, trying to jerk my arm away.

"I'm just trying to understand!" He growled back.

"Understand what?"

"I'm trying to understand why you're doing this to yourself."

Silence enveloped us. I jerked my arm away and rolled the sleeve back down.

"It keeps the nightmares away." I nearly whispered.

Kiba stared at me curiously.

"Ever since...dad...I haven't been able to sleep...I can barely eat...c-cutting keeps the nightmares away." I admitted, hugging myself.

"And the Sake?" He asked. "That's new."

"Someone at Anbu introduced me to it. Don't worry. It's not like I'm getting drunk. It just, takes the edge off."

He sighed. "That's not the point, Tama."

"Then what is the point?" I retorted, feeling the effects of the sake.

"Instead of reaching for a kinfe or booze, you should be reaching out to people."

I bit my lip, feeling his words slap my eardrums.

"I don't need anyone." I hissed. "I just need to...to-"

"To what? Get revenge? You already got that. and you're an Anbu now."

"Just stop, please. Just let it go." I mumbled.

"No, Tama, you're the one who needs to let it go. All that pain and sadness is eating you alive. It'll kill you!" Kiba ranted.

I sat there on my bed. I couldn't bring my voice to respond to his harsh words.

He let out a breath, obviously annoyed by my silence.

Hell raged on in my mind and in my heart.

He went to leave...

"K-Kiba." I mumbled.

Surprisingly, he stopped.

I latched on to his arm, not caring.

"Please...don't...don't leave me."

**_A/N: I'm so sorry this chapter is so short :( I wanted to write more, but I felt that adding more would take away from the chapter. Also, I credit the soppiness of this chapter to the feels I'm suffering thanks to Fairy Tail! _**


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